The United States needs a President with proven experience.
A President who has dedicated their life to the service of the American people, even when they didn't want him.
A President who refuses to be submerged by bureaucratic norms or the wills of the ultra-wealthy.
We need Hyman G. Rickover.
Formality
Upon President Rickover’s semi-divine ascension to the Oval Office, you can rest-assured that anything that even comes close to a press release will be routed through at least 4 tiers of approval before being shown to the public. President Rickover has neither the time, desire, or patience to interact with the general public directly.
But, fear not- disparaging remarks by the President will be saved for exclusively face-to-face interactions that will be recorded (and accessible via FOIA requests); if President Rickover wishes to degrade your very existence, the whole world will know.
Procedural Compliance
Everything done to operate a Naval Nuclear Power Plant is done with a procedure. If it’s good enough for our reactors, it’s good enough for our government.
Rickover will dedicate a senior team of operations engineers to write the new bibles of all government processes- the Regulations Procedural Manual (RPM) and its executive-branch counterpart, the Systems Enforcement Procedures Manual (SEPM).
The RPM and SEPM will serve as well-understood, universally applied law that effectively supersedes United States Code in much the same way Naval Reactors doctrine supersedes the rest of the Navy.
Ownership
Once you take the watch, you own the outcome of your situation. Accordingly, President Rickover will have a zero-tolerance attitude for legislative or executive failures.
All congressional representatives will be required to attend every legislative session.
Failure of legislators to pass critical bills such as yearly federal budgets will result in all senators and representatives being locked inside of their respective congressional chambers until they come to a solution.
Water and bread will be provided under the condition that they continue to make progress in their legislative efforts.
Integrity
Lying, cheating, and wholly dishonest politicians are woven into the fabric of this great nation’s democracy. Even George Washington probably blazed a log set once.
Under a Rickover Reign, that will change. All red-blooded American citizens will know the glory of a high-functioning audit and surveillance program. Here at the Rickover 2024 campaign, we think that the categorization of “authoritarian wet dream” is just a bit too relaxed for our take.
Questioning Attitude & Forceful Backup
Upon President Rickover’s election to office, he will establish the Center for Regulations, Inspections, Taxes, Queries, Undermining, and Embezzlement (C.R.I.T.I.Q.U.E.) hotline, which will allow anyone to make a report of misconduct that will be investigated by a small legion of shore-tour junior officers.
It is expected that C.R.I.T.I.Q.U.E. will only be marginally less effective than the critiques held across nuclear-powered commands across the fleet, and will cost slightly less than the DoD’s 2011 Fiscal Year Budget.
Level of Knowledge
The minimum requirement for effective leadership is simple: you cannot lead what you do not know. President Rickover seeks to create a new arm of the federal government- the Department of Qualifications. The DOQ will ensure that all candidates for elected office will have at least a working knowledge of American history, law, and reactor dynamics. Representative spouting conspiratorial nonsense like “Jewish space lasers” or “nuclear power is unsafe” will be immediately expelled from office and, possibly, the country.
- EMNCM(SS)(RET)
— Mid-watch ERUL
- TRIC Admin
How can I support?
Spread the good word! Stick a yard sign on your front yard. Show off your fancy new lanyard at work. Tattoo Rickover 2024 across your forehead.
If all of that is a bit too extreme for you, just buy a shirt or something I guess
“Rickover for President” is a subsidiary brand fully owned and operated by The Reactor is Critical LLC. This is a satire page that has no intention of participating in real-world politics.
